Chapter Two
Undertaker, Bubba Ray Dudley, Christian, Kevin Nash and Kurt Angle lay sparred out in the ring. They were exhausted out of their minds. It was the night before Summerslam, and they were training all night for the big event. Kurt Angle and Undertaker had a Tag-Team match against Brock Lesnar and Big Show, Christian and Bubba were in a TLC match and Kevin Nash in a street fight. After a few hours of taking bumps and wrestling each other, they gave up and dropped on the mat.
“That punk Cena better not interfere in the match,” Kurt groaned. He turned to his side to watch the others. Undertaker nodded his head. “Yeah, if he does, I’ll give him something to rap about,” he grunted. Kevin sat up and looked around. “But you gotta admit, his raps are so damn funny,” Kevin snickered. Christian sat up as well. “I kinda like his raps,” he admitted. Bubba jumped up and raised his lip to the side. “You think you can face me dawg?!?” Bubba imitated, over exaggerating with raising his lip up on one side. The guys couldn’t help but laugh. “You can’t see me, you can’t see me,” Bubba screamed.
He went up behind Christian and covered his eyes. “Now you really can’t see me,” Bubba grumbled. Kevin laughed even harder. “I can still see you cat,” Kurt said. Bubba looked around for a second and jumped out of the ring. He grabbed a table from under the ring and laid it vertically against the ring. He followed by hiding behind the table. “You can’t see me, you can’t see me,” Bubba continued. Undertaker couldn’t help but laugh hard as well. Bubba peered his eyes over the edge. “I can see you, but you can’t see me,” he roared. Christian was holding his stomach, almost bursting.
“Nah man, you are too fat to hide your whole body behind the table,” Kurt laughed. Bubba came from behind and placed his hands on his hips. “Hey, I am not fat,” he said. Kevin raised an eyebrow. Then what is beer-belly doing there?” he asked, pointing at Bubba’s stomach. Bubba slid into the ring and stood straight. “This is not a beer-belly. This is a fuel tank for the sex-machine for Trish,” Bubba proudly proclaimed. Undertaker burst out laughing, slapping his thigh hard. Kurt and Christian clutched the ropes and Kevin was squeezing his leg hard. “And what is so funny?” Bubba asked.
They were all turning red, trying hard to breath. “There can never be enough fuel in there to keep up with Trish,” Kurt managed to blurt out. Bubba smiled and nodded his head. “That’s true,” he said and slid to the floor. The others were still laughing hard. Bubba just patiently sat on the floor, waiting for them to finish laughing. After 10 minutes they finally calmed down.
“Damn, now I know what Lita means when she says that she and the girls are having girl talk,” Christian sighed. Undertaker nodded his head. “That’s why I get my ass out of there whenever I see the girls coming,” he smirked. Kurt nodded. “I kinda like my ‘girl talk’ with Dawn. It makes me understand her on another level,” Kurt said. Bubba shot him a look. “Gee, maybe you understand her on a feminine level. You were after all the one that wanted to manhandle Rey Mysterio,” Bubba said. Kurt shot him a look. “Don’t even start boy,” Kurt ordered.
Christian jumped up. “And Rey Mysterio, I want you to remember one thing. You're a boy in a man's world and I'm a man that loves to play with boys! No! No! No! Wait a minute! Shut up! What I meant to say is you're a boy and I'm a man and tonight I'm gonna love to manhandle you! No! Hold on a second! Shut up! Rey Mysterio, you remember this pal, you're a boy and I'm a man and when you and I get together here tonight, I'm gonna get on top of you and...NO! Mysterio, get your butt out her! I'm gonna kick your butt,” Christian imitated.
Kurt got up. “I am going to kill you,” Kurt said and lunged at Christian. Christian jumped out of the ring and ran up the ramp. “Come on Angle, you know you want me,” Christian called out and ran as fast as he could. Undertaker, Kevin and Bubba laughed again. “That joke will never get old for me,” Bubba said. Kevin looked at him. “Not even when Hunter pulled down his pants, showing a nice black thong?” Kevin asked. Undertaker suddenly made gagging noises. Bubba’s eyes widened. “Ok, that was just a nightmare,” Bubba stated, his eyes still wide open.
Kevin and Undertaker laughed and laid back down in the ring. Bubba still sat there, eyes wide open. “That was awful,” he mumbled after 5 minutes. Undertaker raised his head. “Oh god, he is petrified,” he said, Kevin looked up as well. “I would be too,” Kevin smirked. Undertaker looked at him. “At least you weren’t on the same show when it happened. I saw it live,” Undertaker shuddered. Kevin laughed hard again, but Bubba was still in his daze. “That was awful,” he mumbled again.
Undertaker looked to his side and he saw Kurt and Christian coming back with a few boxes of pizza and some packs of beer and a bag. “Where did you guys go?” Undertaker asked. Kurt smirked. “I chased Christian down the highway and found a pizza place. I gave up running after him and bought some food for us,” Kurt said. Christian laughed. “Actually, he stopped chasing me because the side of his thong was showing and I made a deal that I wouldn’t tell you all if he stopped chasing me,” Christian laughed. Kurt gasped. “Christian, you promised!” Kurt exclaimed. Christian then hid behind the table that Bubba had put there. “You can’t see me, you can’t see me,” Christian called out.
They all laughed and started to eat the pizza. “What time is it?” Bubba mumbled. Kevin looked at his watch. “10: 32,” he said. Undertaker took a slice of pepperoni pizza. “Mark, do you have any idea how many calories are in that pizza,” Mark said, doing his Stephanie impression. Kurt did his female gasp. “Oh my god, that is so many!! Make sure you eat at least 8 slices!” he said. Kevin shook his head. “I guess your ‘girl talk’ with Dawn Marie is paying off,” Kevin teased. Kurt raised his eyebrows. “It’s what we do before our ‘girl talk’ that pays off,” Kurt grinned.
Bubba gasped. “Did Kurt Angle actually make a sexual joke? Quick, take a camera, this is a Kodak moment,” Bubba teased. Kurt shot him a look. “Why are you all always after me?” Kurt pouted. Christian smiled. “Because you are so easy,” Christian said. Kurt picked up a slice of pizza and threw it in Christian’s face. Kurt laughed. “That’s payback,” he said. Christian merely smiled and accepted defeat. (shock shock, surprise surprise)
“So what do we do now?” Bubba muttered through a full mouth. Kevin shrugged. “We could do what the girls usually do, and have our little ‘girl talk’, without the thongs mind you,” Kevin said. Undertaker shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want to spend the whole night talking about every part I hate about my body,” he chuckled. He all hummed in agreement. “That would be the shortest conversation ever,” Christian stated. Kevin took a beer and passed the rest around. “We could play Truth or Dare,” Kurt said. Undertaker looked at him.
“You are not serious. Please tell me you are not serious,” Undertaker replied. Kevin slightly smiled. “Hey, I’m up for it,” he said. Bubba nodded. “Sure me too,” he said. Christian nodded as he grabbed a beer for himself. Undertaker sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it too,” he said and grabbed another slice of pizza. They sat in silence for a moment. “Well somebody start,” Undertaker said. Kurt laughed. “Ok, Christian, truth or dare?” Kurt asked. Christian thought for a moment. “Truth,” Christian said. Kurt smiled. “Has Lita ever done the Lita-carana in bed?” Kurt asked. Bubba gasped again. “Another sexual question. Kurt you are on a role,” he laughed.
Christian chuckled, all the time man. And I love the special Lita-carana I get,” Christian smirked. They all laughed and took more pizza. Christian sighed. “Mark, truth or dare,” Christian asked. Mark smiled. “Truth,” he said. Christian thought for a moment. “How did you come up with The Last Ride? It is in a rather odd position,” he said. Mark grinned. “You guys remember Tori right?” Mark asked. Christian nearly choked on his pizza. Bubba watched him. “Oh god,” Kevin laughed.
“Yeah, we had a night, and yeah so, yeah,” Mark said. Kevin laughed and shook his head. “Hey, at least it aint Sable,” Mark said. Kevin shuddered. “Yuck, I don’t think that even Jerky would do her, no wait yeah he would,” Christian said. Mark laughed. “Ok thong man Kurt, truth or dare?” Mark snickered. Kurt scrunched his eyebrows. “DARE,” he said. Mark put on that wicked smile. He went to Kurt and whispered something in his ear. Kurt’s eyes widened. “No! No, I am not doing it!” Kurt screamed. Mark smiled. “You have to, its a dare,” Mark said and gave Kurt his cell phone. Christian, Kevin and Bubba looked confused. The listened as Kurt dialed the number.
Kurt let out a deep sigh. “Rey Mysterio, I want your ass and I want to spank it,” Kurt quickly blurted and hung up the phone. Mark, Christian, Kevin and Bubba burst out laughing. They laughed so hard that their insides hurt. “Now that was a classic!” Bubba screamed and continued laughing. Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and backed himself in the corner. They continued playing truth and dare, back and forth.
“Hunter had a what?!?” Bubba exclaimed. Kevin and Mark nodded their heads. “Yes, Steffie said he had a separate closet for his thongs,” Mark laughed. They all cracked up, even Kurt. “Now that is just sick,” Kurt said. “Bubba turned to Kevin. “Kevin, truth or dare?” Bubba asked. “Truth,” Kevin replied. “Did you really only bang Molly on your wedding night?” Bubba asked. Kevin smiled and shook his head. “I slept with Molly on our first date,” he said. They all gasped. “Well, well, well,” Mark said. Christian took another beer. “What a thing,” Kurt said.
“Ok Christian, truth or dare?” Kurt asked. Christian emptied the beer can. “Dare,” he said. Kurt put on a wicked smile. “Uh oh, shouldn’t have picked that pretty boy,” Mark replied. Christian started to cringe in fear. “Payback’s a bitch,” Kurt smiled. Christian braced himself. “Frog-splash yourself through the table, and the table has to break,” Kurt ordered. Christian sighed, but did as he was told. He was a man, and he would keep his word. Bubba set up the table. “Here goes nothing,” Christian said and lunged off. Thank god he broke the table on the first jump. All the guys clapped.
Kurt then jumped up. He went to Christian and pulled at the rim of his pants. Kurt then gasped. “I knew it! He has on a thong!” Kurt screamed and spanked Christian on his ass. “I am going to get you Angle,” Christian screamed. Angle ran up the ramp. “You know you want me,” Kurt imitated and ran away. Mark, Kevin and Bubba laughed. “Let’s hope they bring some cheesecake back,” Bubba sighed.
Just then Stephanie, Molly, Dawn, Lita and Trish came down the ramp. “Where are those 2 going?” Trish asked. Bubba smiled. “Well, they want each other’s thongs, but they will be back,” Bubba smirked. Trish laughed. “I wont even ask,” Lita smiled. All the girls entered the ring. Stephanie gasped when she saw the pizza. “Mark! Do you have any idea how much calories are in that pizza?” she shrieked. Undertaker smiled. “Yes, that’s why I ate 8 slices,” he replied. Stephanie smiled. “Good boy,” she replied and kissed the top of his head.
“So what are you guys doing?” Molly asked as she sat between Kevin’s legs. Kevin smiled. “Playing truth or dare,” he said. Trish raised an eyebrow. Evil thoughts crept in her mind. “I wanna play!” she said. “Angle, get back here!! And give me my chocolate cake!” they heard Christian scream in the back. Dawn giggled. “ok Bubba, truth or dare?” she asked.
• Chapter Three •
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