Chapter One
Stephanie McMahon, Dawn Marie, Trish Stratus, Lita and Molly were all lying on Molly's bed, pigging out on junk food and watching American Wedding on Molly's big screen TV. It was their usual monthly routine. Every weekend at the end of the month the 5 of them would come together at each other's houses and have a slumber party. This time it was Molly's turn. Molly was married to Dave Batista, Dawn was engaged to Eddie Guerrero and the other 3 were just dating.
"So what are the guys doing tonight?" Stephanie asked, shoving a big spoon of ice cream in her mouth. Molly swallowed her popcorn. "Dave said something about them going out and finding Randy a prostitute. He really needs to un-virginize himself," Molly said. Lita shot her eyebrow up. "Un-virginize? Is that even a word?" Lita asked. Molly smiled. "Well it is now," Molly said. They all laughed. "But seriously. Randy needs to stop acting like a player and actually get laid," Dawn said. "I second that!" Molly said, raising her soda can. Trish nearly choked on her soda.
"And all this being said by a woman who lost her virginity on her wedding night. Aren't you supposed to be against this?" Trish asked. Molly grinned. "I am a woman. And a man needs to be very experienced when he finally marries a virgin, or else the divorce will be coming!" Molly exclaimed. Stephanie threw her face in a pillow, trying not to laugh to hard. "And how would you know the difference between good sex and bad sex if you only have sex with one guy?" Lita said. Trish and Stephanie nodded in approval. Molly smiled. "I may have been a virgin girls, but I wasn't stupid," Molly said a matter of factly. Dawn raised her soda. "To women's intuition," Dawn said. All the other girls raised their soda cans. "To women's intuition!" they all toasted.
"Ewwww, Stifler ate the dog shit!" Trish exclaimed, watching the movie. Lita laughed. "Some men just don't know how to get a women," she said, shaking her head. "Don't we all know it," Stephanie said, reaching for the bowl of marsh mellows. "Yup, we all had our fair share of bad pick up lines," Trish said. Molly laughed. "I remember what Steven Richards told me. He asked me to borrow a quarter, so he could call my mom and thank her for bringing me to earth," Molly said. All of them started laughing. "Nah man, I was in the pool once at some hotel, and Brock approached me. He asked me if I could play lifeguard for him because he could drown in my beauty," Dawn said, rolling her eyes. Stephanie laughed, remembering that day all to well.
"Well Orton came to me and said I could be Malibu Barbie and he would be Ken, and we should get it on," Trish said, shuddering at the words. Lita shook her head, giggling at the thought. "The corniest one ever. Matt told me he had died and gone to heaven, because I was an angel standing in front of him," she said, throwing some candy in her mouth. "That was bad, you really are not an angel," Dawn said. Lita shot her a look. "Hey!" she screamed, throwing some popcorn in Dawn's direction. Stephanie raised her hand. "I have the corniest one of all," Stephanie said, assuming the genie position. All the girls looked at her. "Do tell," Lita said, grabbing a pillow and placing it on her lap.
"I was talking to Torrie about her play boy shoot and when it all was happening. Hugh had sent her the bunny suit already, and just for the fun I but the ears on. Well, Andrew (* I am referring to Test*) came in and in front of Torrie said, Hey Stef, let's make like 2 rabbits and start humping," Stephanie. All 4 of the other girls roared in laughter, nearly falling off of the bed. "Oh dear," Molly said, holding her stomach as she tried to calm down. Dawn had her face buries in Molly's lap, trying to breathe. Trish and Lita were over each other, trying hard not to laugh any harder.
"Damn, and they wonder why they are single right now," Lita remarked. "Too absorbed in their selves," Trish concluded. "Damn right," Molly said. Stephanie shot her a look. "And since when does little Miss Molly curse?" Stephanie teased. Molly grinned and raised her eyebrows. "Dave does many wonders to a woman's sex drive and language," Molly said. Dawn raised her eyebrows. "THAT WAS AN OVERSHARE!" she said. Lita laughed. "Ok, do tell," Lita said. Trish slapped Lita over her head with a pillow. "You have jerky in your bed. That's enough sex you can handle," Trish said. Lita raised her eyebrows. "Hey, I know why he is the king of the world now," she grinned. "NOW THAT WAS AN OVERSHARE!" Stephanie shuddered. The mere thought of Chris Jericho and sex together was sickening.
"Speaking of overshares, let's just continue with them," Molly said, turning the TV down. "Oh, gossip time," Trish said, getting excited. Dawn shook her head. "And they wonder where they came up with the term 'dumb blond'," Dawn said. Trish smiled. "It is a gift only we blondes possess," Trish said, fluttering her eyebrows. "Praise the lord that Molly turned back to a brunette, or else we had 2 dummies here," Lita said, causing Molly to giggle. "Being dumb just wasn't suiting me," Molly said. Trish looked at her. "Only I can be dumb," Trish said. Stephanie laughed. "We all ready knew that sweetie," Stephanie said. Trish smiled. "Thank you," she said. All the others silently laughed.
"So what shall we overshare about?" Molly asked. "What is with your language today?" Lita asked, causing Molly to give her an angry stare. "And what is with you playing dictionary?" Stephanie asked. Lita placed her hands on her hips. "Hey, I feel smart today," Lita said. Dawn shook her head. "Yeah, because usually you are just as dumb as Trish," she said. Lita looked at Trish. "Yeah, Trish and me all special," Lita said, twirling her hair with her finger. Stephanie got a disgusted look on her face. "Oh stop it. You 2 sound like Sable and Torrie Wilson," Stephanie said. Dawn and Molly scrunched up their noses. Trish eyes widened. "You just had to insult me that bad, didn't you?" Trish asked. Stephanie smiled. "It's a gift only the brunettes have," she said which earned her a high five from the other brunettes Molly and Dawn.
"Ok anyway, back to gossiping. What were we talking about before?" Lita asked. Dawn took the bowl of marsh mellows. "On how Molly knows the difference between good sex and bad sex," Dawn said. "Ahh, but I believe that Dave is good sex. Have you seen those pecks?" Lita said. Molly put up an evil grin. "And they are all mine," she said, biting her lower lip. "Well, I have my king of the world," Lita proudly said, pulling some hair behind her hair. "I got my man that reeks of awesomness," Stephanie giggled, referring to Edge. Trish couldn't help but blush at the mere thought of her boyfriend, Shane McMahon. "I have Shane, my little lover-boy," Trish said. But Dawn had the best one of all. "You all can't beat my Latin lover," Dawn said.
"Latino heat!" Lita screamed, holding up a bag of chips. "I think Lita is drunk," Molly said. "Yeah, off of the soda," Trish said. "Ok Anyway!" Lita said, trying to change the topic. "Where is the honeymoon going to be?" Stephanie asked, popping open a bag nachos. Dawn shrugged. "Well I don't know yet. I asked Eddie and he said as long as he had a bed to make love to me all day then he was fine with wherever it was," Dawn said. Molly shook her head. "Dave and I went to Hawaii," Molly said. Stephanie cocked her head to the side. "Hunter and me went to Paris in the winter. I don't recommend it. Too damn cold, nearly froze my tush off," Stephanie said.
Lita and Trish sighed. "I can't wait until I get married. I am going to Italie with Chris," Lita said. Trish looked at her. "Is Chris going to propose anytime soon?" she asked, looking slightly amused. Lita shrugged. "I don't know, but a girl can dream of a perfect life right? Especially the perfect sex life," Lita said. Molly and Stephanie started to laugh hard. "Perfect married sex life? That doesn't exist my dear," Stephanie said. Molly nodded her head while drinking her soda.
"Whoever said married couples have the perfect sex life needs a slap to the face," Molly said. Dawn nodded as well, understanding what Molly said. "So the saying isn't true?" Trish asked. "Hell no!" Stephanie said. Dawn thought for a moment. "I mean, we have all had our blunders in bed right?" Dawn asked. All the girls smiled. "Oh yes we have," Lita stated. "OVERSHARE TOPIC! Name your most humiliating bedtime blunder with your current lover," Molly said.
They all hummed in approval and made a circle on the bed. "Ok Molly, you can go first," Lita said, lying flat on her back. Molly put on a pout face. "Why do I have to go first?" she asked. Trish threw some popcorn in her face. "Because you came up with the idea!" she said. Molly sighed. "Fine, we all know you guys are just dying to know about my sex life," she teased.
Stephanie snickered. "Ok, start," she said. Molly tapped the top of her head with her finger lightly, trying to think. "Oh, she was so many blunders, she is trying to pick one," Trish teased. Molly threw a pillow in her face. "Let the smart one think, you dummy!" Molly said. They all laughed. "Ok, this happened a little while ago with Dave. One night he wanted to seduce me, so he wanted to be extra romantic. He tried to unzip my jeans with his teeth and his lip ended up getting stuck. I tried to get it loose, but it hurt him too much. We had to call the neighbor for some help," Molly said through some giggles.
The 4 other girls laughed so hard, their stomachs hurt. "God save me!" Trish yelled, clutching her stomach. Lita was kicking her feet in the air. Dawn was laughing in Stephanie's lap. "Awww, poor baby," Stephanie said. "Ok Trish, your turn," Molly said. Trish nodded. "Oh God, I gotta listening to something sexual about my brother," Stephanie shuddered. Lita smiled. "Well, one time, I was on top of Shane, and he decided he was going to take the lead. So he flipped me over on my back. And well…..he ended up flipping of the bed and onto the floor. He fell right on his tailbone," Trish said.
Stephanie nearly choked on her popcorn, laughing at her brother. "God help me!" Molly laughed, squeezing her pillow to her chest. Trish shook her head. "Steffie sweety, your turn," Trish said. Stephanie sighed and shoved some hair behind her ear. "Adam and I were in the shower once and he reached to get the shampoo. He somehow slipped and cracked his front tooth," Stephanie said. Dawn eyes widened. She touched her 2 front teeth. "Oh god," she gasped.
Molly, Trish and Lita however were laughing. "I knew those teeth were too white to be real!" Lita exclaimed. Stephanie blushed. "OK Lita, your turn," Stephanie said. "Yeah, let's hear some jerky bashing," Dawn said. Lita shot her a look. "That's beef jerky," Lita corrected. Trish, Stephanie and Molly giggled. Lita flipped her red hair to the side. "Do you guys ever wonder why Chris suddenly shaved his beard off?" Lita asked. All the girls hummed.
"Well, one night after a romantic encounter, I was playing with the flame of a candle. Chris took it from me and started turning the candle so that the wax was falling on my stomach. And then his beard caught on fire," Lita said. Stephanie's mouth fell open. Trish buried her face in a pillow and Dawn and Molly fell of the bed. "Smart ass," Trish grinned. Dawn finally crawled her way back up to the bed, dragging Molly with her.
"Last one Dawn," Lita said. Dawn jumped up on the bed. "Ok, this happened last week. Eddie and I decided to go the hot tub in the hotel at night. And soon enough, we were getting it on. I was on top of Eddie and riding him. I was holding very tightly on to him. I tried to stay quiet, but it was rather hard. Suddenly a little kid came running up to Eddie and knocked him over the head with a rolled up newspaper screaming 'stop hurting the lady!"" Dawn said. Now all 4 of them fell off the bed, laughing like crazy. "Mercy, stop, my stomach can't take it," Trish laughed. Tears were pouring out of Stephanie's eyes, laughing so hard.
After 5 minutes, they all finally calmed down. "But we can't forget the good times right?" Trish sighed. They all smiled. "I shall never forget the little roses he sent me," Stephanie said. "Or the little chocolates," Lita sighed. "Or the breakfast in bed," Molly giggled. "Or the raindrop kisses," Trish sighed. "Or the bubble bath proposal," Dawn whispered. They all smiled and continued to eat and talk.
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