Chapter One
(A completely conjectural angle featuring-at the moment-Kurt Angle, Ivory,Jazz and...Molly!)
(Note: All players are SmackDown property in this tale)
WWE SmackDown! April 22, 2004
In the ring, Booker T. is about to cut another heel promo regarding the 'minor-league' status of SmackDown when he is cut off by John Cena...and a returning Stephanie
McMahon!!! The crowd pops huge for The Dr. of Thugonomics and The Billion-Dollar
Princess with The Trillion Dollar Body as they proceed to verbally put The Book in his
smug place. Yes, the crowd was having a good time...until Kurt Angle cut everyone off
and made his way to the ring.
Kurt: Hey..! Hey! Cena!!! Cena!!! Shut up!
Cena: I ain't even sweatin' you, man. You CAN'T see me! You can't see me, dog!!!
(Crowd pops...and it is DEAFENING!!!)
Kurt: I can't see you,huh? Well, see this, Cena! I had you booked tonight in a WWE Championship match, one on one with Eddie Guerrero. But since you decided to come out here, run your mouth, and get in MY face...(crowd boos) ...the SmackDown G.M.s face(boos increase exponentially in volume) no less, well now I have no choice but to
discipline you, Cena. And Steph, since you came out here, you'll get the same! You don't run this show! Your Olympic Hero does! It's true, it's true...it's DAMN true!!!
(Crowd boos now sound like the deafening roar of some mythic beast)
Kurt: Cena, instead of your World Title match taking place like the fans wanted, and like YOU wanted, now you and Steph get to team up against MY favorite SmackDown Superstar, Booker T. and...a female partner of HIS choosing!
Booker T.: Now can you dig that...SUCKA!!!
Cena: Yo,yo,yo,yo,yo,yo,yo,yo,yo,yo...yo. Chillllllll. Now, it's gon' be The Billion Dollar Princess and The Franchise, The Doctor of Thugonomics John Cena?
You're gonna do hard time, Kurt, I'm the court-appointed authority deliverin' this subpoena
You're not in my league, dog, you're more interested in wranglin' rumps
So get off my jock Kurt,and stop chewin' on my...
(Cena holds up the mic and the crowd finishes his rhyme)
Crowd: NUTS!!!
Cena and Stephanie stand on the entrance ramp, soaking in the intense pop that they have drawn...while Angle and Booker are mad as hell, stalking about the ring and shouting epithets at the face duo.
(5 days earlier, Kurt Angle swung an, ahem, sign-and-trade deal with Raw, that saw SD send the inflated contracts of Sable, Torrie Wilson, Dawn Marie and the newly-signed April Hunter to Raw for The WWE Women's Championship, Jazz, Ivory, Gail Kim, Nidia, Victoria and Molly Holly. Why would Kurt Angle bring,essentially, the entire Women's Division to SmackDown? Here's an excerpt from a phone conversation between Ivory and Kurt)
Ivory: I just heard about the deal. What's going on? It sounds like you have BIG plans. But let me guess...you want to re-vamp the women's division, but I'm just gonna be a TRAINER, right? I'm not gonna get to work at all, am I?
Kurt: On the contrary, Ivory, I've had a long-standing respect for you and your work. As a matter of fact, I did bring back the women's division to make it bigger and better than it's ever been before, that's true...that's damn true...BUT I actually have big plans specifically for you and a couple of other special ladies I've had my eye on for quite a while. And those plans involve you WRESTLING, Ivory.
Ivory: (Pleasantly suprised) What?!? Really???
Kurt: I thought you'd like to hear THAT. See, I'm not just an Olympic hero. I'm an AMERICAN hero, too. And women are a big part of America, I mean, look at my mom. She's a women. And she's an American, to boot. You see? I'm a big believer in women's rights, and I need a female contingent to get my point across to all the women out there in this great country. I need someone to be the VOICE of that female contingent, and there is NO woman in this company with more oratorial skill than YOU, Ivory. No one.
Ivory: Okay, Kurt, I'm sold! Where do I sign?
(...and sample this later phone discussion with Kurt and Molly)
Kurt: Yeah, sure, SD's ratings are low, but I'm gonna change things! Give me a chance, and give me a chance to turn your career around Molly. Let's face it, you are dead in the water right now.
Molly: What..?!?
Kurt: Sure you are. You know it, these fans know it, and I certainly know it. But you know what else I know, Molly? Talent. I know talent. I found Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas. I made Brock Lesnar into the Superstar that he was before he left. And you know something? You remind me a lot of Brock.
Molly: What do you mean, 'I remind you of Brock'? What, do you think I'm a quitter?
Kurt: I mean just what I said. Brock had the total package, he could have been the greatest WWE Champion ever if he hadn't started listening to Mr. McMahon. You combine strength, speed, stamina and skill better than any other WWE female athlete. You have the total package. Why else do you think I left Trish and Lita on Raw?
Molly: ...because you wanted to sign...me?
Kurt: Molly, I signed you to headline the NEW WWE Women's Division. Correction...The SmackDown Women's Division!!! I managed to keep Miss Jackie, I still have Shaniqua in OVW, and I managed to sign Daffney, Trinity, Alicia and Miss DeVille! Trust me...the competition is going to be fierce in the Women's Division now, Molly, and you...you are the Chosen One!
(Note: The OTHER reason Angle didn't sign Trish and Lita was because Bischoff just WASN'T going to part ways with them, but if you were Kurt, would YOU tell Molly that?)
Flash forward to NOW. April 22, 2004. Cena and Steph vs. Booker T. and ...who? Who is The Books' chosen female partner? Cena, Steph and the crowd are wondering with bated breath, when Kurt Angle's music hits, and he accompanies Ivory(in a new high-society, Leona Helmsley-like gimmick) and her NEWEST client...Jazz( The bitch is back!!!)! Booker T. and Jazz eventually manage to isolate Steph during the course of the match, and just when Steph is about to make the hot tag to John Cena, Ivory distracts the referee and Molly Holly runs down the ramp to ringside, picks up the ring-bell and lays Steph out with a big blow to the skull...just lays her down like a dog in the street. Jazz picks up the cheap win, and Cena is stomped away at in the middle of the ring by Angle and Booker T., and we see on television for the first time...the formation of a new heel stable?
Kurt: Before I introduce 3 of my newest clients, I want to re-introduce my FAVORITE WWE SmackDown Superstar, the Master of The Spin-a-roonie, the five-time, five-time WCW Champion...Booker T.!!!
Crowd boos.
Kurt: And now, the headliners for the new Women's Division...exclusively on SmackDown only...Ivory! Jazz!! And MOLLY HOLLY!!!
Ivory: And it's not gonna be ANYTHING like it was on that OTHER show we came from. We are here to dominate, and we WILL dominate, for a long, long time.
Crowd boos.
Ivory: It sounds like you people don't like that too much. You don't like that at all, do ya?
Crowd boos louder.
Ivory: Well, popular convention has it tat we don't belong here. Popular convention says that we will fail. Popular convention says that Molly, Jazz and myself don't have the look and we can't hold a candle to any of the women on Raw.
Crowd cheers.
Molly: Well, then, SCREW popular convention! Unpopular convention says that not only do WE belong here, but we RUN this division! Unpopular convention says that we can't fail. We will put every Diva in the back in their place, and Victoria..? Victoria, I WILL take back my Women's Title!!! Unpopular convention says that WE don't have the look? Neither will any of the divas in the back, when we get through with them. We can't hold a candle to the women of Raw? That's POPULAR convention. Ivory, Jazz and myself..? Your pure and wholesome GREATEST Women's Champion EVER? We are UnPopular. Convention and WE say...
Jazz: The Bitches are BACK!!!
(Cut to commercial)
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