The same great gameplay that you've gotten used to since SD hit the PS2 is back and better than ever. The new(er) submission meter really separates the men from the boys as far as submission holds go, and the Royal Rumble ring-out meter eliminates the simplicity of just chucking people over the top rope all day long. It also makes winning the Rumble a real bitch. But it does improve the overall gameplay. No complaints here. This one is the total package, and was easily worth $153.61...as SD vs. Raw had it all!!!
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(I. Was. Lying.)
Now, all sarcasm aside, I would have been telling the God's honest truth if SD vs. Raw was anything like the game I just described above. Alas...the game I described is nothing more than EWR 4.0 with graphics...which would have made it an updated version of HCTP...which would make it the Holy Grail of wrestling games. It would NOT, however, make it SD vs. Raw, because SD vs. Raw was an EXTREME DISAPPOINTMENT, the equivalent of The McRib as far as the SD series (at least on the PS2) is concerned, well in the neighborhood of NBA Live crappiness, offering a crappy season mode, a cappy and depleted roster, an absolute minimum of attires, people like JBL and Batista having either a: the wrong music, or B: the wrong entrance. Batista's music was in HCTP...why not in SD vs. Raw? The whole point of JBL's intro IS the limo. Where's it at? Where are all the workers that did not make the final cut? And what EXACTLY is up with the season mode? How come the season mode of HCTP was not simply refined, as THAT season mode stopped JUST SHORT of basically allowing you to do everything I just 'outlined' above? How come only the WHC, WC, I-C and U.S. titles are available during season? Why is this games version of the standing RKO wrong while the turnbuckle version of the same damnded move is dead-on? I did not need the wrestler voice-overs to make me happy. The open-ended thing I described above would have actually have been SIMPLER to implement...the same basic things always happen in wrestling. Just make a list of a few variations for a variety of scenarios and circumstances, and BAM...$$$$$$$$$$$$. Just raining $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Instead..? You have no control over ANYTHING. You have the same 'ambitious' season options, which involve you chasing after a total of 2 belts per brand, chasing after Divas, arguing with the GM and Vince McMahon basically giving you a belt. That's it. That's all. You've got only one wrestler per season, and you can't even carry over your stats if you wanna run somebody new. You gotta start completely over with Orton/Jericho/JBL/Booker T. as your champions every time. No tag-title (even though it is MENTIONED BY VINCE McMAHON IN THE GODDAMNED GAME), no CW title, and of course you can't even take a Diva through a season. You can't even defend the belt you win in season mode in an exhibition match (I think you actually could in Just Bring It), no. You have to go create a belt to do that, and then to defend THAT you have to create a PPV. But of course, to defend that belt you need $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ which means you have to endure many versions of the poorly written season mode to earn said $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. That's right. Oh, and by the way, whether you choose to play heel or face, you will be awestruck and dumbfounded at the number of times FACES will do heelish things like FORMING STABLES TO ATTACK YOU...without ever actually becoming heels. It's not a good thing when Y2J has to recruit A-Train and Custom Chucky P. to attack you, and all three of those guys are faces in the game sometimes.
Sounds like I just want it all, huh? Like I just want everything at once.
So what?
And I'm not even asking for everything. I don't think I'm even asking for much. Every year, the Madden NFL franchise puts out a monster title truly befitting its prestigous reputation and truly well worth the wait. It also fields an essentially complete NFL pre-season roster for every NFL team. Maybe-maybe-a couple guys are missing here and there. But that's not relevant. 99% of the NFL is there, and the replayability is simply a thing of EPIC proportions. SD has next to none...because it is not open ended, and you are too restricted by the already installed season mode (even on HCTP). But back to the SD Vs. Raw roster:
A-Train. Batista. The Big Show. Booker T. Bubba Ray Dudley. Charlie Haas. Chavo. Chris Benoit. Chris Jericho. Christian. Chuck Palumbo. D-Von Dudley. Eddie Guerrero. Edge. Garrison Cade. Hardcore Holly. JBL. John Cena. Kane. Kurt Angle. Mark Jindrak. Matt Hardy. Molly. Randy Orton. Rene Dupree. Rey Mysterio. Rhyno. Ric Flair. Rico. RVD. Sable. Scotty 2 Hotty. Shawn Michaels. Shelton Benjamin. Stacy Keibler. Tajiri. Torrie Wilson. Triple H. Trish Stratus. The Undertaker. Victoria.
Okay?
Now, where in the ding-dong, heck-of-a-doodle-hell are:
Eugene? Gail Kim? Hurricane? Jazz? Lilian Garcia? Lita? Maven? Robert Conway? Rosey? Steven Richards? Sylvain Grenier? Tyson Tomko? Val Venis? William Regal? And that's just the Raw workers who got the shaft and didn't get invited to the 'party' that is SD vs. Raw. Here's the SD forgottens:
Akio. Al Snow. Billy Kidman. Danny & Doug Basham. Dawn Marie. Funaki. Heidenreich. Hiroko. Kenzo Suzuki. Luther Reigns. Miss Jackie. Orlando Jordan. Paul London. Shannon Moore. ('The Bo$$') Spike Dudley. Theodore R. Long. Yeah, the SD roster on the game is sad. Good luck trying to run anything on SD without an intensive create-a-wrestler plan in mind. Ugh.
There are no excuses for this. Less than none.
It certainly does feel that the producers just slapped a game together, gave it some pretty new features, gave us an ambiguous premise (where does the SD vs. Raw part ever really factor into things in SD VS. Raw?) with a few new updated Flavors' of The Month (Cena/Orton) and left it at that. The game almost feels like a 'Fuck You' directed at the consumers.
And I'm tired of getting that feeling from the WWE and everything connected with it.
So there.
On March 28th, we got Wrestlemania 21 to look forward to, on the X-Box. Now, the X-Box is a vastly more powerful system, and is capable of much more than the PS2...certainly more than capable of doing everything I laid out above. I've read the previews. I see nothing of this stuff in there. What I do see is the X-Box version of SD Vs. Raw. Not buying a whole new system just for that. Ugggh.
Know what's telling? I still own Shut Your Mouth, Here Comes The Pain and SmackDown vs. Raw.
I'm still playing HCTP. To hell with SD vs. Raw.
THE PORTION OF THE COLUMN THAT PUTS THE MOLLY IN MOLLYOPOLY.
It's been a while since I mentioned this last, but Molly really is the best female wrestler in the WWE, the 2nd best speaker (although she has the best speaking voice, Trish narrowly edges Molly out here), and the best-looking and classiest woman not ONLY in wrestling, but ALL of entertainment...the most cogent factor in my argument being that this is the truth. And that's how it is. Here's some more stuff that Molly is superior to:
1.) Molly is better than SD VS. Raw.
2.) Molly is better than Alien Vs. Predator...and The Forgotten, The Village and Hellboy, too, for that matter.
3.) Molly is better than the Oakland Raiders, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland A's. Boy, do all my favorite sports teams-minus the Detroit Pistons-suck right now.
4.) Molly is better than A Perfect Circles' new CD, eMOTive.
5.) Molly is better than Parker Poseys', Rae Dawn Chongs' and Rachael Leigh Cooks' careers right now.
6.) Molly is better than fudge.
7.) Molly is better than Patrick Swayze.
8.) Molly is better than bok-choi.
9.) Molly is better than your (not mine) favorite band.
10.) Molly is better than Vince McMahon and the WHOLE WWE.
These are just a few things that came to me, right off the top of my head. I'll keep you all posted as they occur to me.
Till then, lay-tah...
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