I don't have very much to say this week. I am more down on wrestling than I have been in some while...which is saying a LOT. So I am going to leave you this week on these two notes:
Nidia is the Diva that we know the least about. We know she won Tough Enough, and we know that she was a stripper before that. We know that she is a fan of Ja Rule and Ashanti. Now, this didn't shock me. She looks the type...the type of person that would be an Ashanti/Ja Rule fan. The most important thing about her that we DO know is that she is Puerto Rican. And Puerto Rican women know how to SHAKE IT. Damn, Puerto Rican women are hot.
What I didn't know was that she is a fan of Tool. Of Tool! NIDIA?!? Well, Nidia has now ensured that I will never have a bad thing to say about her. Ever. Nidia is apparently the most intelligent woman on the WWE roster, to count Tool among her favorite bands. Tool is the greatest band ever, and you can go eat squirrel afterbirth if you disagree with that.
Let me bring you up to speed on Tool, if you are not familiar with them:
Whatever band you worship, Tool mops the floor with them. Period. Tool is better than every other band that exists right now. Everything and anything even remotely connected with them becomes untouchable. Tool is better than your favorite band, whichever band that may be...the most cogent factors in my argument being that this is the truth and the simple fact that every band lists Tool as either a main influence or their single main influence.
Hah.
Until another Diva (not named Lita) lists Tool as one of their favorite bands, Nidia is officially the smartest woman in the WWE. She is also the only Puerto Rican woman in the company, which means-in her own Puerto Rican way-that she may be hotter than any woman in the WWE not named Ivory or Dawn Marie. What? No Molly? No. Molly isn't hot...Molly is Molly. I could bring Molly home to meet my folks. I DON'T think I could do that with any of the other women in the WWE. Molly also hasn't had a nose job, she doesn't have breast implants, and she doesn't have any (obvious) tattoos...which is good, because tattoos are annoying.So, there may be hotter women in the WWE than Molly, but Molly still wins...because Molly is the antithesis of slutty.
Which is basically what hot is, anyway.
The other note I was going to end this issue on..?
Evilone posted a candid shot of Molly signing a WWF-not WWE-title belt which was apparently going to go on auction at E-Bay. Her hair was shorter-which is better-but my attention was on something else, as I panned down...
...and down...
....and...down....
Mollys' toes.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
How I pine for those long-ago days in WCW, where Molly did EVERYTHING barefoot. C'mon,Molly...some of your fans want to see more of your cute little tootsies. I say this: I WANT MORE OF MOLLYS FEET. NOW. To hell with the Diva magazine...they should do a 'MOLLYS FEET MAGAZINE'. Yeah...I'm a freak. I admit it. Mollys' feet drive me crazy.
Just imagine how insufferable I would be if she...were to EVER...paint...her...TOENAILS!!!
MOTHER OF ALL CREATURES, GREAT AND SMALL!!!
Seriously. I demand to see more of Mollys' feet. I don't care if she has hammer toes and I don't care if her toes are webbed. I don't care if she has to make regular use of odor-eaters, and I don't care if she has bunions and corns.
Errrr....waitaminitt...I actually would care if she had bunions and corns. Ugggghh.
But the moral of the story is...well, ummm...I am a perverted freak? Is that the moral of the story? Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! I'm gonna go take a shower.
Boy, this was my shortest issue in some time!
THE STEAK-UMS STING OF THE NIGHT:
'I did not. How can you say that?'
(The reaction of Gen-Corps own J.K.Robertson when accused of misappropriating a time-machine to wreak havoc on the future in the movie 'Time-Chasers.')
Later. I'm gonna make like Butch...and rolle.
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